This is just a short drabble based off a present from Tria. Color-shipping is all the rage, I hear. :)

( Red/Purple OTP? )

Well, Ev wanted to make sure it's her filter messing LJ up and not the site, so I'm just posting a nonsense entry.

I was home sick today because allergies suck. I've gotten nothing done but hanging around in the Endless Chat. I know, I'm so cool.

I'm making pasta, so I've got to cut this short. :)

EDIT: I burned the pasta and Ev's filter is blocking my LJ.   :(

Disclaimer: I own not  the Bible, dear lawyers.

Unbeta'd and all, subject to changes, you get the drift.

 

( Of the Divine: Chapter Three )

 

I don't own the bible. All of this is WiP, subject to change-- you get the drill.

( Chapter Two )

I don't own the Bible and all that.

---

 

Okay, this is unbeta'd. It will be up other places later when it's finished and edited. Don't judge me! Subject to constant change and edit.

Prologue:

 

( Story behind cut. )

This is an entry to say nothing in particular. I just figure I should post on occasion.

My cat is watching my type; hello kitty, can you read? I think you can...

Rereading 'Stealing Harry' it's still awesome, as is to be expected. Listening to Dr. Horrible. Life is good.

Three day weekends are the best thing ever.

...well not ever, but still pretty damn good.

Actually, this is an old story I posted on Fanfiction.net, but I must admit I like livejournal more. It's a pointless little scene, but I'm quite fond of it.

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Sometimes Remus just isn't sure why he wakes up in the morning. The call of justice and righteousness just isn't cutting it anymore. All he wants to do is lie in bed-- hopefully alone, he isn't sure if he can fool Tonks for much longer, not with the state he is in.

Remus sits, looking out the window of the Black house; he curls in on himself just a tad more. A tea cup sits in his hand, almost scalding hot, but he doesn't put it down, just ignores the pain the focuses inward.

Remus Lupin isn't just going to fall into a pool of self-pity. Wait, no. That is just the sort of man he is. He'd like to think that in the intervening years he'd separated himself from that scared boy-- the one that lay awake at night, terrified that his friends would abandon him. The one that he's found is often in the forefront of his mind these days.

Remus seems to have been abandoned after all.

Not that he blames them, of course-- well, except Peter, but that's a different issue completely.

It isn't anger at being abandoned, that isn't it at all. He can't blame James for his martyrdom or Sirius for being himself-- if he thinks about it, it seems oddly fitting for Sirius to die taunting Bellatrix.

Remus isn't angry; he's jealous.

Remus couldn't tell at first, but one morning he woke, a bit late and in bed alone, and suddenly, he understood. He is so jealous of them. They'd died, they had left in a blaze of glory, just as they'd lived and Remus is alone.

Remus doesn't do well alone.

He supposes he should be a master of it, but it seems that seven years of school overrides a lifetime of experience. He'd been alone, before school. His parents had tried, but no one could make up for friend his own age. And then all those year after...

Remus sees a muggle couple walk by outside the window.

He stares unabashedly, knowing they can't detect his presence. They are smiling and laughing. Remus frowns as he realizes just how little he'd laughed lately. The man almost looks like Sirius-- black hair falling in a graceful way that Remus could never fathom-- and he finds he has to turn away.

He should be a master of being alone, but he isn't. Instead he clings to Tonks, faking smiles and declarations of love. The words stick to his tongue, but he gets them out. He keeps her, just as he couldn't keep his friends. She's a replacement and Remus fear that she knows it. He can't make it alone.

Remus Lupin hates himself

He should, he has every reason, but he knows it isn't the time. He feels guilty about everything, which doesn't help. At nights he turns away from Tonk's warm embrace to fall into that familiar blend of self-pity and self-hatred that is so uniquely himself.

Remus Lupin smiles and stirs the cup of tea he's holding.

He takes a sip and it's bitter and cold-- much like his life as become. It seems that his thought have brought him away for longer than he'd even realized. He could warm it up, but he doesn't, he just drinks the tea, feeling the lukewarm liquid drain down his throat with a bitter pride.

Remus Lupin lives on, it's what he does.

Surviving seems his main talent and he isn't referring to the increased defense his lycanthropy gives him. It seems ironic to him that he should be the survivor of the group, he who would be so happy to die.

Remus cringes as the twangs of jealousy plague him.

It's sick and he hates himself for it-- fuels the cycle of hate and pity. He sees Harry on occasion and Harry looks at him with eyes that are too knowing and moves with a gait of a man, not a child. He makes Remus feel pathetic. He feels like he's back on the Hogwarts Express, watching James and Sirius converse and feeling so pathetic.

Remus wishes he could be a better man, but it only reminds him of what he is.

Not a werewolf, but a middle aged man afraid to even move. He's still a teen, somewhere inside. Not like Sirius was, Sirius had the excuse of Azkaban, all Remus has is his own pathetic fear and hate... It's not who he wants to be, but some days he's afraid it's all he is.

Remus sets the tea cup down and shuts the window.

Yeah, so that's going well. I like the fact that it'll show me which words I overuse and I can check to see if it's too much.

...so I'm behind on Script Frenzy... who'd have figured?

Oh... you would've?

Damn.

I shouldn't be allowed to be awake at four in the morning. It causes me great problems. Let me explain.

I'm taking part in Script Frenzy, great right? It's actually not as hard as I'd thought. I'm well ahead of schedule and I'm pleased with me work.

...so I'm taking part in the Hermione Bang, great right? I'm actually ahead of schedule in that too:

4350 / 20000 words. 22% done!

And top this off with the story that I'm supposed to be writing, but have completely blown off.

The best part is that all of these came into being at four in the morning. It is precisely that time when I go onto the internet and decide that I should do this awesome new thing. It also made me do NaNoWriMo last November. That was great fun, but I'm sure my friends would disagree. Hearing me complain and panic for a month while mumbling about word counts isn't their idea of a good time.

Whiners.

You know, I thought I couldn't possibly love Neil Patrick Harris any more, I mean, honestly, the man is Dr. Horrible. How much cooler can you get?

Much cooler.

My weekend was full of fail. Epic fail.

I got the stomach flu.

I spent from 'bout noon Saturday and most of today sick. It was dreadful.

On a better note (But no less depressing, I suppose) I'm watching the Movie 'Accused'. It's an awesome movie. Really depressing, but awesome.

Also, Jodie Foster is hot.

Wow, I think this is slowly killing me. The 'this' in question of course is NaNoWriMo. I'm so tired. It's an hour after I should be asleep on a Sunday night, but I don't even care, because I just hit 40,000 words.

I am a sick, sick person. I need help..

Well, NaNoWriMo is going better now. I've actually been writing... though, I should be researching for debate, I suppose.

I've just drawn my main character, she looks pretty and Greek. (Which is good... Even though she isn't greek, she's close.)

I'm chugging a Mountain Dew and feeling useless.

Back to writing...

It's midnight.

Obama is president.

Califonia is banning gay marriage.

And I have Mock-trial at 9am tomorrow morning.

I'm just not sure what to feel. I think all these constant mood swings will kill me. I've been beaming and scowling and jumping screaming-- in both happiness and anger.

And I'm behind on NaNoWriMo, but I can't bring myself to stand up and plug in my flash drive.

On a better note, I don't have school for the rest of the week. Mock trial (as previously mentioned) is tomorrow and then thursday and friday are off.

I'll need them, I'm tired.